sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
