Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize