I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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