how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
