someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
