Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
