I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
