eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
