I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
3 2 1 whiskey
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
