When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
