Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
