I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
