I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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