wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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