I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
