not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
