he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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