dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
