Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
