well most of my day revolves around power hour
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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