Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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