would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
