I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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