She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
