my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
