my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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