I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize