Ambien. No doubt about it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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