operation harelip BJ is a go
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
