There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
