Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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