Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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