I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize