She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
