He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
