honey bunches of taint.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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