I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
