So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
