I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
