no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
