You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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