you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
