Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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