we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The air taste purple.
Randomize
