Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I want a musical about memes.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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