thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
