gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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