you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
