I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
