i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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