i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
