Dual....:-)
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
