WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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