My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
