You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
50% drunk capacity currently
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
