He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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