I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
