sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
