Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
