so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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