Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
