69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
