After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize