morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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