Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
