I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
